12 miles for 12 years.

The last time I "ran" 12 consecutive miles was in September 2018, and that was the first time I had ever done that in my life. Today, I got this wild idea to run a mile for every year I have been a father. I told myself I have to go at least 11 because my oldest is still 11 for a month. So, off I went around 2:30 this afternoon with my new set of bone conduction Trekz Air After shokz. Yes, a Get-Off-My-Butt-And-Run Fathers Day present from my amazing wife, I mean, boys because they have money. I use my runs, as infrequent as they are, to think about life, pray, get out my emotions, maybe even talk to myself. With today being Fathers Day I had a few more thoughts and emotions than the usual run. I have been a father for almost 12 years! Let that sink in for a minute. I have been, with Danielle's help of course, fully in-charge of a human for almost 12 years. That's a lot of pressure. 

As I started my first mile I realized something running is a lot like being a father. Let's break it down for mile by mile. 

Mile 1: I Got This!

You just get going and you're feel amazing! Music playing, sunglasses on, shoes are tight and your stride is great. You're not sweating yet, so you take a selfie. You feel like you can conquer the world. It's like holding your newborn for the first time and they are just perfect in your arms. Everything about them is adorable, so you send a million pictures of them to your family and they love it.

Mile 2: The Uphill.

If you know anything about me, running the up hill is not my jam. For me, its like right before bed and all the kids are begging for a snack. But you have already told them to brush their teeth and all you really want them to do is GO THE F TO SLEEP, so you can sit down and have a conversation with your wife. You've stop sending your family pictures of your children because they drive you nuts and they haven't been bathed in weeks. You are so tired of yelling at them you just start responding to them fighting with "Take it outside!"

It's in this time of life where you just have to keep moving. One foot in front of the other. 

Mile 3-5: The Top of the Hill.

As you crest the hill and catch your breath, you get your stride and things start to limber up and feel really good. It's these moments that you are so glad to be a dad. You love spending time with your children and they love spending time with you. You have gone through some rocky times with your children on the way up but they seem to be figuring out this thing called life and they still think you're cool.

Mile 6: The Downhill 

This is where I fly! I love the downhill. I feel like a mountain goat jumping over rocks and kicking up dust. I love getting to a switchback and flying down the next corner without a care in the world. It's this time in life you just go with the flow because if you stop you will trip and burn. This is the time where your kids are in control of your schedule and you have no choice but to go full speed ahead. Soccer, sleepovers, orchestra concerts, school plays then when there are still littles ones, snacks, naps or no naps depending on the day. 

Mile 7-9: Cruise Control

When you get to the bottom of the hill and your legs are feeling like jelly. You still have the moment from the downhill to set your pace and just enjoy the ride. This, for me, is where I catch my breath. I look back, literally, sometimes and see how far I have gone. I gain some confidence in the fact that I have made it this far. In this part of the run I like to high five the runners coming my direction because I feel good. I also don't know where they are on their run and I know that even a little encouragement can go a long way. 

It's this time in life where you children are home for summer you get a chance to hangout a little later, watch a little more tv, go on hikes, bike rides, camping trips and swimming. You look back at how much they have grown over the past year. You thank God that you made it this far and that time has slowed down. You feel good, so you notice those around you that might need a little encouragement and have the time and means to offer it up.

Mile 10-11: The Wake Up Call.

Your mouth is parched your legs ache and you want to stop but the clouds are building around you and still not home yet. The miles seem to take a little longer and each step feels a little heavier. You press on, however slow it may be, knowing that you will be done soon. You walk, maybe even crawl. You sip your water, turn your music up, and push on. 

I have to think that this a place I haven't reached yet in as a father. I feel like this is a place where your children are almost done with high school. They don't need you as much. You look ahead to the time where they call you and want to chat about their life away from you. Still asking for some advice but not too much. I have to think that these years do hurt as well, knowing they don't need you as much, praying that you did a good enough job for them to face the world around them. You think of the previous years and wish that you could have one more "Mile 6" where life is full of activities and you're just enjoying the ride. 

Then just as if you were thinking you were done you go the extra mile. 

Mile 12: The Finish

Just when you thought things were hard you get a crazy burst of energy. You give it all you've got and don't hold anything back. You're exhausted, hurting, and probably wanting to throw up. Maybe that's just me. Then you see it; the end of your run. You get even more excited because you know you pushed on you gave it everything and you never quite. Then you cross the finish line your excitement can be overwhelming your emotions can be seen or even heard. You did it. You have run the race, one step at a time and never quit. 

The finish line for a father can come at any one of these miles. For some it's a choice to never start the race. For others the miles got too long and hard and the burden was to heavy, so they walk away. For others their time was up and they were taken out of the race of life too early. 

Then there are the finishers. Those fathers that fought through the ups and downs of life the business that was thrown at them or created by them. As I sit here writing this with my feet in an ice bath and a cold beer. My children sleep peacefully. I thank God that I get the opportunity to run this race of life with them. I am more grateful that I got a better half that runs this race with me. 

So tonight I raise a cold one to all the fathers out there. Whatever mile you're on; don't give up! If you didn't start there is no time like the present. I got a few miles under my belt to offer up some advice. For those that are getting to the finish line great job! Go celebrate! Then come back and teach those of us that still have a lot to learn about the up hill. 

 To all fathers; runners or not "let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."