Think...

Think

I think about how I used to ride bike to friend's houses in grade school in the middle of the road.

Think

I think about as a middle schooler walking around a grocery or retain store, never being followed.

Think 

I think about all the times I got pulled over in high school and got off with a warning.

Think.

I think about how in college I would go to the gas station at 1:00am and never feel threatened or afraid.

Think.

I think about all the times I have traveled and walked through TSA. If I get stopped and searched, I know I'm still going to make it to my gate on time.
Most of the time I get a "Sorry to bother you" speech and waved through.

Think.

I think about my history and where I came from. I grew up on a farm. I went to a farm school. When I moved from the farm I moved to a small town. This small town was in North Dakota. When anyone thinks of North Dakota they think cold, windy, flat and white and not because of the snow, white. This was white before the oil boom so really white. When I graduated high school I was excepted to a university in Oklahoma; my first experience outside of really white North Dakota. Right before my second year returning to school I received my letter that assigned me my dorm and roommate. A few days later I got a call from the Dean of Students. He asked if I had reached out to my new roommate. I had told him I had not. He asked if it was ok that he was black? He went on to say that, "I was a good fit," because I didn't have any preconceived labels, notions, stigma towards black people and that I liked basketball and he was on the team. 

Think

I think I was naive to think that people didn't judge people by the color of their skin. 

Think.

I think about how my children because of their skin color are already privileged just as I was and have been my whole life.

Think.

I think I have been blind. Blind and even worse silent. 

Blind because I have not seen what has been happening on the other side of my privilege.
Silent because of my privilege.
My 35 year old WHITE male privilege.

A privilege that has gotten me out of situations that have gotten others killed because of their skin color. 

Think.

I think about all the times my friends and I would get in to full on brawls with other people and never once did I feel like someone was going to pull out a gun and shoot me or one of my friends.  

Think..

I think about how I like to run. When I do its usually early morning or late evenings and I have still never thought I might get gunned down while doing it. #AhmaudArbery #TrayvonMartin

Think...

I think about how I've been pulled over for a broken right blinker, failure to stop at a stop sign, expired tags,  and not carrying my drivers license in the same traffic stop and got off with all warnings. #MikeBrown #PhilandoCastille #TerrenceCrutchner #WalterScott 

Think....

I think about my job and how I jump fences for a living. Not even a joke. Part of my job is walking through peoples yards to see if they have an orange cable tv line laying on their grass. Now yes I do have addresses where recent cables were installed but the neighbors don't have my list and sometimes where the cable ends is not in the same yard. So I jump the fence. Sometimes the cable crosses multiple yards and I jump them as well. I have even waive to neighbors as I do it. Sometimes I ask them to put their dogs in so I can jump in to their backyard. In the four years I have been doing this only once have I been asked for identification or a badge. When that man asked I told him it was in my truck and he responded with, "Okay" and let me continue to jump his fence. Now even during the pandemic with a mask and sunglasses on I have yet to have anyone question my intentions.

I have yet to ever have someone say they would call the police on me.  #amycooper #everypersonofcolor

THINK.....

I think about how many times I have broken the law and never once thought that I wouldn't get a fair trial. I have never once thought, if I get arrested the men and women trained to protect me are going to be the ones to murder me. #GeorgeFloyd #EricGarner

THINK

THINK

THINK

THINK

NOW YOU THINK...

Think about how similar some of your situations have been to these men's. What was your outcome? These men paid the ultimate price for our failure as a society to see "All men created equal." They died because of our silence and our blindness. We need to think about the change that needs to happen in ourselves. We need to think about how we view human life. We need to think about the privilege we have and how others may not have that same privilege.

My privilege, is white privilege, and I am here to say,

I am Sorry.